An extract from Darreled Kenny's Diary

This weekend, I have to visit my annoying cousin Remielle in Ontario in Canada, and she's SUPER ANNOYING. I mean, I've never had to go before, but my Mum's forcing me to come with her this time. She is Canadian and all, out of all the films I've seen, only Canadians have set themselves on fire and said 'what' in one of those 'LSW' jokes - no offence, Canada. Since Washington isn't that far from Ontario though, we'll be driving there. The worst part is that my sister, Darialea is coming too. All the scruffy side of my family are in Canada though, so it's gonna be rough. Remielle's one of those people who smokes and takes drugs at the same time, but still has sexiness. She lives - to specify, SWATS - in some run down house, but she's trying to bump up her conditions before we arrive, so she's gonna stay in some fancy hotel and hide all her bad stuff. Mum doesn't even know she does the stuff, and Remielle said she'd put my boyfriend on me if I told her, after all, our Skype calls are pretty long. In fact, Mum thinks that Remielle's WEIRD, because each time she visits her Remielle wears glasses, wears thirteen ear piercings, smells like geese, and worst of all, has a pet duck. I mean, who has a pet duck? Whatever, though.

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