An extract from Darreled Kenny's diary

Christmas day. One of those days that's supposed to be treated as a family gathering, but I just chill upstairs, play video games, and swear. That's the life.

But of course, as my Mom said that 'I'm becoming a man now', I have to sit downstairs and eat all kinds of beef. Yep, I was forced to. So I basically gulped down everything I wanted to eat, about one fourteenth of my actual given food, and ran out of the door. Then my Mom hit me with something.

"You're banned from that Techno-thingy." she told me.

I ran upstairs. Obviously she wasn't stopping me. She pretty much planned the whole thing out, because she said that my annoying cousin, Harry, had to stay in my room until HE left. She said that we were going into the living room, and I had to come with her. Obviously, as my Mom said, I was 'becoming a man now', so I received all the 'manly' gifts.

Socks. Clothes. Nothing cool.

Yep, ultronicraplexlez 2000. But I obviously had to get my vengeance on all those crappy gifts. As I'm 'becoming a man now', I have to gift OTHER people. Then it hit me. I hadn't got any gifts prepared, so, I grabbed the closest thing I could find - a ketchup packet for everyone! Boy, it felt good to see everyone's sarcastic 'thank you' after I presented them with their 'gift'. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.