An extract from Darreled Kenny's Diary

Well, this is my dorky diary of a dorky life.

My name is Darreled. Darreled Kenny. I honestly don't know what I'm going to put here, so here goes.

It was time for the school tests. I was totally not prepared. Even the dickhead school bullies did better than me. Much like every morning, I drank my usual pink lemonade, and lip synced a bunch of songs from ''The Bee Gees''. I sighed. It was time for school.


I ran to school, my backpack practically floating whilst I tried to tackle the flowing wind. I was totally not ready for a crappy day out. The bullies pointed at me and randomly blurted, "Hey, Darreled! You flanneled?"

"Shut up, Brian." I complained. "Get ready for some "great" results."

He gave me a stern look.

I sighed in relief that he'd buzz off.

The bell rung. It was time for the Geography test.

"Darreled Kenny! You're late for class!" Screamed the teacher, Mrs. Winterbottom.

"Shut up, Winterbutt." murmured Darreled.

The tests were give out by the teacher's pet, Andrew Hodge.

He stuck his thumbs up at me. He turned his head and smiled at the teacher.

She smiled back.

"You will have sixty minutes to complete this test. Okay, Darreled?" said Mrs. Winterbottom.

I could obviously detect sarcasm, and ignored her existence.

I started the test.

The first question was "Who is the president of Costa Rica?"

I had no idea.

I just made my pencil throw up with the words, "GeoRGE HamILTON"

I hoped it was correct.

My pencil was broken.

I had to stand up, in front of everyone, and sharpen. It was super awkward. Mrs. Winterbutt's desk seemed like a mile away from my desk, at the very back. I was finally done.

"Five minutes left", said the teacher.

I shuddered.

My grades were always crap. I couldn't really complain.

I decided to finish the question.

"What is the capital city of Ethiopia?"

Man, I didn't have a clue.

The test was over. It was time for recess.

I decided to chill inside, it was cold outside.

The bell rung, dropping the milestone for the end of recess. I just decided to slack and get the tests over with. It was time for Wildlife. I had no clue why wildlife tests actually exist, but now wasn't the time to ask.

"Name seven animals that live in the Arctic."

I scribbled down "5 pENGuiNS, 2 seALS."

Next question.

"On a daily basis, how many animal species become extinct?"

"LoTS." My answer read.

The test was over.

The end of the day was here.

I ran off, the bullies laughing at my test results for my geography test.

To be continued.