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An extract from Darreled Kenny's diary

So, at school, we were assigned to this project where we had to write a children's book for Home Lane Nursery, thank my lucky stars it was easy.

The thing is, I was actually TRYING, because Mr. Jordans said that whoever's book is read out and picked, the writer gets a WEEK OFF without any lessons, and bring in whatever they want to occupy themselves whilst the rest of the class works their butts off with work. I figured, if I got a knack for it, I could write even MORE books, and make a fortune. My story was about a boy named Porridge, and he has a diary, in which he scrawls in every day, showcasing his crap-ass life. Surprisingly, Mr. Jordans actually APPROVED of it, which boosted my confidence.

After the results came flooding in, there was actually THREE different ones picked, and mine was one of them, and it was up to the school community for the choice of which one comes through. It was obvious I wasn't gonna win, after everyone learned what I'd done to Kuacki, plus, I'm like the most unpopular kid in the world, AND I was against Mr. Loveboy, Adam Hill and school vice president Miranda Hopkins.

I had no idea, but I actually WON. I was super happy, plus, it was Friday afternoon, and the weekends were coming up, so I figured I could make at LEAST four books by Monday, plus, I could write some stuff at school too, and just watch the money come rolling in.

So, I'd already written eight books by Saturday, and sent them off the Stuffin to get them published. Surprisingly, they actually ACCEPTED it around two days after I sent the books, around Monday and Tuesday. Wow. I'm now officially an author, and no-one even knew about it. With my to-be dillionaire status, I'll BUY the school and bust my way out of my crappy house into some mansion, with fourteen toilets, only because I need them.

After Stuffin said that the books were officially in-stores about a week after they emailed me back, I grabbed a copy, only to find that they spelt my name like 'Darryl Kent', and it turns out there's someone on Footbook actually CALLED that. So everyone was going on and on about Darryl Ken's awesome and q00t new children's books, then he tweeted 'OMG Guys. I just got a pile of money! I'm rich!'

Damn it.